Election watchdog fom o'er the pond

Blair is in trouble. Of course this is hardly surprising when the Tories have such a knack of pin-pointing the most important issues in our country. This week's glaring weakness in UK culture: gypsies.

A whopping 15,000 of their caravans clog up our rural arteries and unused land. It's unused for a reason you know! Even the most conservative of these promiscuous rascals is likely to have at least a family of six meaning that the gypsy population makes up 0.15% of the UK population (and remember we're being conservative here!).

The Conservative Party, however, would never be so hamfisted as to target the whole group - those old grey men are far too subtle. Their focus is on only those who are parked on unauthorised land. Why? Because the land is unused for a reason you bloody carny!

The genius of the Tories plan lies in this sharp, precise targeting. 16% of gypsies park on unauthorised land, so we're talking about 14,000 odd (odd) people flagrantly trespassing unused private property. Now that's a vote winner! And why? Because the Sun is on their side. It looks like Britain's best loved daily is returning to its roots with a full endorsement of the policy.

But hang on a bigot-baiting second! Didn't the Sun all but propose this legislation with its 'Stamp out the Camps' campaign? What better way to show up a government that's lost touch with the electorate than by letting a red top write your manifesto?

Problem is, despite the satire, that means it could well work. I think I'll stay in Canada.